The Writer Has No Clothes

The unicorn.

The odd duck.

The weirdo.

Showing up to any author event, these are the thoughts that go through my mind.

At an Arts & Craft show...am I too weird?

At a ComicCon...am I not weird enough?

Even at a book festival, surrounded by dozens of other authors, you start thinking that you're the fraud. Over the past year, I had nearly fifty author events. At some of them, I've had folks buy a book before I'm even set up=anxiety extinguished! In these moments, I puff up like a rock star.

However, there are other events where the first sale doesn't happen right away, and with each tick of the clock, my anxiety and confidence worsens.

Most folks in the adult world "sell stuff." People have teeth=sell toothbrushes! People drive cars=sell them a car. For an artist, though, sales are so much more personal. With books, they are your ideas, thoughts, and dreams. They reflect your inner most feelings expressed through characters that you created from dust and breathed life into.

Reject a shovel salesman...it's not personal.

Reject an artist (author)...it hurts.

It becomes a lonely endeavor, especially if its busy. Compare it to a dating app. You're trying to make a love match. Instead of privately swiping right, you literally get to see them walk right...past you.

Flirting can hurt even more. Folks that read the blurb or listen to the pitch, and then set it back down...ouch.

Tick, tick, tick.

If other authors are selling near you, suddenly middle school jealousy enters your mind.

"What does Shane have that I don't have?"

"What does she see in him?"

"Do I have a booger in my nose? Lettuce in my teeth? What's wrong with me? I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO PICK ME!"

You find all sorts of excuses, usually involving location.

"If I was at the other end..."

"If it wasn't raining..."

If I wasn't next to...

While location does matter, it often becomes an excuse.

And then...

Hold on.

Got a customer walking up.

Time to put down my pen and...

I"M IN LOVE, I'M IN LOVE, I'M IN LOVE!

They picked me! They bought all four books.

I"m the world's greatest undiscovered writer. I just met a person who wants to take a trip inside of my fictional world. It's a rush. It'll sustain you for the next two hours as your anxiety slowly returns.

Will I ever sell another book?

(It's an emotional roller coaster).